


Adult Humor

by templefugate



Series: Comment_Fic [2]
Category: DC Super Hero Girls (Web Series)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Drabble, Female Friendship, Friendship, Gen, One Shot, POV Female Character, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 15:39:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templefugate/pseuds/templefugate
Summary: Barbara isn't usually the type of girl to give out advice on boys, but Harley is just being head over heels ridiculous.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for this prompt at comment_fic:
> 
> http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/798993.html?thread=102520337#t102520337

"-and he's so clever once you think about it! I mean, do you know anyone else who could figure out a way to make rubber chickens work in his favor during a fight?"

Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose, holding back a sigh. Harley's words ran into her ears and bounced off the walls of her skull, echoing until there was no room to hear herself think.

"That purple suit is what really gets me! Most people can't pull it off without looking like a clown, but he looks suave!" As soon as she finished speaking, she burst out into a fit of fast, airy giggles that soon became deeper and longer.

Barbara gritted her teeth. Police files flashed before her eyes, bits and pieces of information never meant for the media to see. Dad didn't usually deal with juvenile offenders, but more often than not a file about The Joker found its way on the Gordon family's dinner table.

"Harley?"

"I've been trying to do similar gags, see if he might drop by Metropolis for a visit and-"

"Harley!"

"Huh?" Harley swerved her head, pigtails flying. "Oh, Babs? Did you fix my computer yet?"

Barbara shook her head. At this point, she didn't even want to know what websites Harley had been visiting to get this many viruses on one system. One had already been cracked through, but she'd need to remove the code of a few more just to be able to access the now locked anti-virus.

"Harley, could you please be quiet? I'm trying to focus."

"Sure, sweetie. But first, like I was saying before, I'm trying to see if he'll come to school and visit me! I mean, it's not that long from Gotham to Metropolis anyway. You go home and visit your dad every weekend, right? Hey, since you're from there, do you know any kids from Arkham Academy?"

Barbara's hands were clenched on the side of the laptop, tightening harder with each moment.

"No, Harley, I don't know anyone from Arkham Academy! Not unless you count The Riddler." Just saying his name made bile rise in her throat. He'd been a top student at Super Hero High and been one of the few people she could consider her academic competition. One set of hostages and a wild scheme later (all to get a date!) and Principal Waller had expelled him. He'd returned to Gotham dejected, but if media rumors and grainy security camera footage she'd salvaged from the Internet proved anything, then it was that Arkham Academy had welcomed him with open arms (and a full ride scholarship to boot).

"Not that Arkham Academy kids are known for much. Name one superhero that came from there. Hey, just try and name someone who hasn't become a rampaging megalomaniac or ended up on the FBI's top ten most wanted list!" Barbara was near screaming. The window to Harley's room was open, letting in sunlight and a warm breeze, and surely it was carrying her righteous rant outside to any number of students. Yet she barely paid it any attention before speaking again. "Harley, I've seen your grades and extracurricular readings. You're smart - honestly and truly. So how come you think that dating a guy who nearly gets the people he tries to save killed - and do you really think that guy is trying - is a good idea?"

Her words were coming out fast, practically sloshing together. Barbara's brain was moving even faster. The files she'd accessed online after clearing a few pesky firewalls, the angry glint in her dad's eyes whenever he looked over the stack of papers he brought home, even Harley's own words all molded together into proof of Barbara's hypothesis.

Harley looked down to her lap.

"Harl?"

She didn't reply, didn't so much as even look up. Had she been gifted with laser eyes or heat vision, Harley surely would have burnt a hole through her mattress.

"Look, I, I'm." Babs wasn't sorry - the truth was hard to give but inevitable. Better a hard smack of reality than a thousand soft kisses of illusions, as her dad always said. Yet her chest suddenly ached all the same, and she could barely focus on the glowing green lines of code before her eyes.

"Harley, he's just not your type." She placed a shaking hand on Harley's knee. "You're a superhero, after all. It's your job to save people, but that doesn't mean you have to rescue him from his own mistakes. Besides, your gags are better."

She sniffled. "Really? Or are ya just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

The clown didn't reply.

"You know," Barbara said, voice no longer wavering, "if you really like green haired guys, I can always drop some hints for you at Beast Boy."

Harley brought a hand to her lips but failed to suppress a quick giggle. Her usual ear to ear grin had returned, pointy teeth flashing momentarily from beneath her scarlet lips. "Didn't know you bat folks knew how to make jokes."

Babs smirked. "Who said that I was joking?"

**Author's Note:**

> In Harley's defense, she isn't exactly the best superhero. Still, in terms of a crime committing partner, Poison Ivy is a million times better.
> 
> The Joker still hasn't been brought up in this universe, but I imagine he'd be either Harley's impossible crush or her ex.
> 
> And much as I love The Riddler, it doesn't take a super genius to tell that he and Babs just wouldn't work out. Sorry, Eddie.


End file.
